It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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