I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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