He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
