once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
