It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
my poor anus
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
