never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize