Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
being pregnant is like rehab
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
