do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
