On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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