how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
