I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
