i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What drink are we having for lunch?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
