I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
