Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your penis caused this!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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