good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
