the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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