I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
