You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
