So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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