ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
