You're so nebulous sometimes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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