Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
