i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
