I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
