Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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