I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
