why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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