he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
