I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
