just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize