So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
