You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
