what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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