I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
