i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
