You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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