how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize