she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
