He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
