we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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