I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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