I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
