Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
