then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
zippers are such a cool invention
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
