I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
