We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
