i think my tv is drunk
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
