Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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