I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just come out here and I will go home with you...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
