Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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