if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize