Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
