omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
