remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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