Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
