Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
