Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
