I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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