She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
