Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
