Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
