Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
