Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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