She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
